Suatu hari beberapa bulan lalu. Fa janjian meeting up with a junior
high school friend at FX, just for dinner. Saat itu, Fa sedang galau
tingkat tinggi urusan kerjaan, Fa sempat beberapa hari kehilangan
konsentrasi kerja.
Nah, salah satu cara menghilangkan beban hidup ya dengan
janjian ketemuan dengan teman lama. Mencari suasana baru.
Obrolan baru. Cerita baru.
Akhirnya, berlabuhlah janji ketemu sama teman SMP, Jindra.
Kebetulan kantor kami berdekatan, bikin janji after office hour.
Tanpa berniat cerita tentang kegalauan, Fa memilih menjadi
pendengar drama kehidupan ketimbang fokus pada masalah
pribadi. Siapa tahu malah mendapat pencerahan, melihat dunia
lain.
Obrolan pun mengalir seru. Hingga pada suatu frame yang sangat menarik. Escape or not, Life or not, Moving forward or not.
Note: Setiap ngobrol dengan Jindra, kami lebih nyaman berbahasa Inggris mengingat dulu pernah sama-sama di klub bahasa Inggris.
Fa:
Whats new Jindra
FYI, I dont want to talk about my relationship. Not this time.
Jindra:
Hahaha ... no worries dear. Its gonna be me talking about it, about mine.
I was in a relationship for about 6 years. We were almost married twice. We had chosen cute number. 10.10.10 and 11.11.11.
Unfortunately, his witch fucking mother doubted me. Always. My suggestion, its better to not marry a mother complex. Terrible. Fucking damn spoil. Everything is mama ... mama decides everything.
Ive been numb for a year.
And suddenly, I met someone a couple of months ago in Jogja. He is from Europe. At the time, I never thought he was the one. Were just travel buddy. Just a friend. Less than 25 minutes he asked me Can you teach me Bahasa and count in Bahasa I need someone who could teach me.
I wondered that was how we started and afterwards we spent the weekend together. A wonderful weekend.
Weve been traveling all over Indonesia since then, we also spent time doing charity like teaching children in slump areas, hanging out with friends, attending wedding parties, making a bank account together, and many other fun stuffs. And you know, I will study in Europe next year.
Fa:
Why do you decide to study in Europe
Jindra:
Because I dont know what else to do in Jakarta. Its just that my chance of getting married is zero. Seems like I were a truly single woman in Jakarta. I get various negative comments from friends and neighbours most of the times. Everyone asks me, When will you get married Its been haunting me for years.
I believe, I am eligible and high quality. So I decided, mengejar Masmas
.... Huahaha ....
Not escape ... not totally. Being free. Being myself. Establish my self esteem. Something like that. Its not running away or hiding myself from the truth .... NO! Not that matter.
Fa:
So
Jindra:
I think I am done in Jakarta. I make lots of money. Ive got a house, a car. I wanna have a bigger challenge.
Fa:
Are you thinking of going back to Jakarta, one day
Jindra:
No ... no ... never think to going back here. Going back to Lombok, Yes. Kalimantan, definitely. Papua, absolutely. Not Jakarta.
Jakarta is great for making money, not making life, or even love.
Fa:
I call this an escape.
Jindra:
No! I am not running away. I told you. I am just trying to find a bigger challenge. Like, I want to travel around Europe, I want to make a family in Europe, I want to study in Europe, all my friends are there. Because I am in love with a European guy, yes.
Fa:
If the worst thing happens in your relationship, what would you do
Jindra:
I still have my own life. Why should I be sad I still have life there.
When I broke up with my ex-boyfriend after 6 years of relationship, I have more friends than before. Ive been wasting my time. It was like a blessing in disguise. Broke with him. Then I earned more money, got better job, better salary.
When I was with him, I just had few friends because he always said no to whatever I wanted, he didnt allow me to hang out with friends. I thought he was the center of my life, but I was wrong.
Then I realized that the center of my life is me. Not him. Life is getting so much better then.
Fa:
How do you see yourself as to not getting married in the 30s, while others did in their 20s
I feel myself so awful. I will turn 30 next year, no serious boyfriend, I dont even have any vision that I will get married soon.
Jindra:
You dont have to feel that way.
You know, this is really fun. As you see, I have lots of money. I have travelled around Indonesia, Asia, even Europe with no burden. Without thinking about kids, family, house, I just go away. Just like flying away with my own wings. Free. Its totally fun.
Fa:
Crying some time
Jindra:
In loneliness, yes. Sometimes I feel lonely. When nobodys around.
It drives me insane and I cry. Sometimes I wish there were kids and husband around. I would be very happy. I wont be this lonely.
But yeah ... its only temporary, not that often.
Fa:
Whats your value in life
Jindra:
Honesty, hard work, moving forward. If you are stuck in only one place, not moving forward, then, thats not life. Its all about how you make a better person each day, struggling to reach your goals, your achievements.
Do you really believe in true love
Jindra:
Sure. Love at the first sight. Yes. I admire love.
I believe love has power. If love does not have power, I will not travel to Europe.
Itu semua di bawah sadar. It just happened.
With no intention. Just happened. You got my point, right
Loe gak rencanain, gak ada planning, gak ada angin, ngalir aja ....
Demi mengejar Mas-Mas, segalanya kulakukan.
Tau gak I am a Chinese, I believe in Shio and that fortune. It said that my life is going to be hard but only in the beginning. To be smooth in the end and I will get a happy ending, get married, and succeed with my career.
Like I should chase over scholarship, look for schools, look for jobs. And I get lots of help from my friends, just like you and some of my best friends. Its really nice to have so many friends. They support me.
I am happy.
Jadi hidup itu seperti koin. Loe mau lihat dari sisi yang mana.
Kalo loe mau melihat dari dark side of your life, its miserable.
Ketika temen-temen loe anaknya udah mulai masuk SD, pre-school minimal. Loe belum sampai ke mana-mana. Menikah pun belum.
Kalau dipikir piciknya, ya sakit bangetlah.
Fa:
Definitely. I am in that situation.
Jindra:
Sekarang, if you look at the bright side, loe bisa mengejar impian, mengejar Mas-Mas, betapa baiknya Tuhan memberi loe kesempatan untuk having fun dalam sebuah paket lengkap. Ketika traveling, loe gak harus mencemaskan Aduh anakku, belum beli popok, susunya gimana, bajunya gimana ....
Ya kalau mau traveling, ya pergi aja. Loe gak harus mikirin kebutuhan anak loe apa, suami loe nuntut gimana. Ya lihat aja sisi bright side-nya.
Kembali kepada pemikiran, everything happens for a reason. Kenapa Tuhan baru ngasih sekarang Karena ketika saat itu mungkin kita belum cukup dewasa, belum siap. Dikasihnya sekarang ketika Tuhan bilang This is your time.
Dan ketika udah saatnya, semua dimudahkan. As I told you, kalau gue jalan sama si bule itu, everyone thinks that we are newlywed.
Kita selalu dikasih privilege di mana pun. Private place for lunch, private boat, private car, private tour.
Fa:
Chemistry-nya mungkin tertangkap.
Jindra:
Gitu ya.
Fa:
Pasti dong.
Jindra:
Yaaahhh ... jadi kangen ....
Fa and Jindra:
(Kami pun tertawa terbahak-bahak) ~~~
